


Slow Burn

by Anthusiasm (HalfwayDecentFanfiction)



Category: Dumbing of Age
Genre: Amber isn't as angsty as she could be but she's still a little bit angsty, Established Relationship, F/F, Fanfiction, First Kiss, mention of internalized biphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 20:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17050391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayDecentFanfiction/pseuds/Anthusiasm
Summary: Joyce is ready to take her relationship with Amber to the next level.  By which, of course, she means kissing.





	Slow Burn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Haruspeks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haruspeks/gifts).



> Quick timeline note: This takes place in an alternate timeline that diverges from canon shortly after "The Do List." Most notably, Amber's romance with Walky is replaced by one with Joyce. The fistfight with Sal still happens, but it's triggered by something else. Also, enough time has passed that Walky and Dorothy can hang out together with only minimal awkwardness.
> 
> Also, Becky is Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic because Joyce dating someone who isn't her still makes her feel complicated feelings.

When Amber first joined the roller derby team, she hadn’t realized that it was basically all the best parts of being Amazi-girl. She was surrounded by cheering crowds during every match, her body felt worn out in the best possible way, and, you know, she got to body-slam into people, which was cool. The only difference was that, at the end, everyone took off their helmets and shook hands. If someone got too violent, a ref pulled them out. It wasn’t real. It was safe.

Which meant that Amber was safe. Safe for other people. Safe to _be_ with other people. 

In this case, somehow, miraculously, "other people" meant "Joyce Brown." 

“Dinner is served!” Joyce announced, bursting into Amber’s room. (Amber had persuaded Dina to let Joyce in without asking her about her favorite dinosaur, for everyone’s sanity). Ever since Joyce had come across Amber quietly having a panic attack in the dining hall, she'd made it a point to make sure Amber didn't have to leave her dorm to eat on nights when she came over. Of course, since the only thing Joyce could successfully cook was Kraft macaroni and cheese, Amber's dinners had become a little homogenous, but Amber didn't mind. “Did you post the new update yet?”

“Just a few more minutes,” said Amber, not looking up from her computer. “Turn.” Joyce obediently turned around and closed her eyes, so that Amber knew that she wasn’t reading over her shoulder.

About five minutes later, Amber said, “Okay, done.”

Joyce opened her laptop and pulled up AO3, then got on the bed and rested her chin in her hands.

The first time this happened, Amber had to stand in the half-bath because she couldn’t stand to be in the same room while Joyce read. This was difficult to explain when Sierra stopped in to brush her teeth and asked how the date was going. Things had changed, mostly because Joyce tended to emit an unrelenting stream of positive feedback.

As if to prove Amber’s point, Joyce covered her mouth with both hands and made a high-pitched noise.

“‘Harley’s hand inched closer to Pamela’s like a caterpillar, but stopped just short of touching. There was no metamorphosis that evening,’” Joyce read out loud. “How have they still not realized that they love each other?”

“It’s not a real slow burn unless you’re physically tearing your hair out by the first time they kiss,” said Amber, unable to stop herself from smiling. She knew from experience that it was dangerous to feel _this_ happy, _this_ proud of herself. That meant that when someone inevitably informed her that she was a failure, the fall would be that much harder. But when she was around Joyce, she couldn't help being happy.

“After I binged all your Batman/Superman stuff, I thought this one would be more, you know, like those,” said Joyce, blushing.

“I can write you a smut one-shot on Thursday instead of updating,” Amber offered.

“Don't you dare! I have to know what happens next!” said Joyce.

Amber laughed and put her arm around Joyce. “So, Batman? We were on the episode with Mr. Freeze. This is the one that one an Emmy.”

Joyce leaned into her. “I can’t wait.”

* * *

“…and then Harley gently bandaged Pamela’s wound after the battle, and Pamela started to wonder if she _really cared_ , and they sat and watched the sunset together and they almost held hands but then they didn’t!” Joyce finished as she and her friends trudged up the hill to Calculus.

“This story doesn’t make any sense,” said Walky. “Why are there supervillain arranged marriages, anyway?”

“It’s an AU, Walky,” Joyce said loftily. “That means alternate universe. And in this alternate universe, sometimes supervillains have to get married in order to defeat Batman.”

“I’m glad things are going so well with Amber,” said Dorothy. “It’s nice to see you so happy.”

“Yeah, she’s spectacular,” Joyce said dreamily. “I think I’m getting ready to take the next step with her.”

“Really?” said Dorothy, smiling. “I hadn’t realized she’d help you become so much more comfortable with your sexuality. You've come a long way, Joyce.”

“What?” said Joyce. “No, not _that_. I meant kissing.”

Dorothy stopped short.

“You haven’t kissed?” said Dorothy.

“Are you two sure you’re even dating?” said Walky.

“I want it to be special!” said Joyce. “That’s why tonight, I’m planning to make a romantic dinner for the two of us.”

“Joyce,” Dorothy said, her voice tinged with frustration. “Don't you think—”

“Oh gosh, we’re almost late,” said Joyce. “We should run!” She began jogging up the hill, and, sighing, Dorothy and Walky followed her.

* * *

Amber knocked on Ethan's door. "I need advice," she said when Ethan opened it.

"Of course," said Ethan. "Come on in." 

Amber sat on his bed. "When you were with Joyce, did she ever initiate anything?"

"Some cuddling," said Ethan. "And she kissed me once, at Galasso's."

Amber felt sick. "So she kissed _you_." 

"The circumstances were…unique," said Ethan. 

"God, I'm so stupid," said Amber. "What if she's not even into girls? Or maybe she is, but she's not actually into me and too nice to break up with me."

"All right, calm down," said Ethan. "Given Joyce's background, I think it's safe to say that she wouldn't be with you unless she was absolutely sure she had feelings for you. Speaking of which, I think we both have some idea why Joyce might be more comfortable kissing guys than girls. You might need to take the lead this time.

Amber shook her head. "I can't."

"I seem to remember that you had no problem taking the lead with me," said Ethan. "Or…Danny." He blushed when he said Danny's name, but luckily, Amber didn't seem to notice.

"Both of those times, I lost control," said Amber. "I wanted something, and I took it. I don't…I _can't_ lose control like that with Joyce." She balled her hands into tight fists. "If she isn't ready, then I don't want to push her. I won't be that person." 

"I don't think it's fair to describe 'enthusiastically initiating sex with your boyfriend and stopping when he asks you to stop' as 'taking what you want,'" said Ethan. 

"Can we plumb the depths of my disturbed psyche another time, please? I feel how I feel," said Amber. 

"Fine, fine," said Ethan. "But you should tell Joyce how you feel."

Amber grabbed Ethan's pillow and buried her face in it. "Aaaaahhhh." 

"I know," said Ethan. "But she'd want to know." He put his arm around her. "I'm proud of you, Amber. This relationship seems like it's taking a lot of emotional openness. Not to mention self-control." 

"You have no idea," said Amber, face still buried in the pillow. "I've started to have erotic dreams involving sweatervests." 

* * *

“So, this is…” said Ruth, gesturing at the dorm kitchen.

“A romantic dinner!” said Joyce. “I’m making pizza.”

“And the oven contains…” said Ruth.

“They didn’t have sausage at the grocery store, and pepperoni has gross bits in it, so I got some Tyson chicken nuggets,” said Joyce. “Also, all the pizza sauce at the store looked to spicy, so it's a sauceless pizza. That's a real thing. I checked online.”

“I feel like it’s my moral duty to stop this, but also I desperately want to see what happens,” said Ruth.

The microwave started beeping. Joyce opened it, and smoke poured out.

“Oh no, my popcorn!” she said as the fire alarm started beeping.

“I'm not going to ask what the popcorn was for," said Ruth. She turned so she was facing down the hall and yelled, "Everyone out! Joyce, that includes you.” The second Joyce turned her back, Ruth helpfully put her dinner out of its misery.

* * *

It took a few minutes for Amber to emerge, scowling, with her laptop tucked under her arm.

“I can’t believe some asshole pulled the fire alarm in the middle of a raid,” she said.

“Well, it’s not a total loss!” said Joyce. “We could go for a walk, maybe sit in front of the fountain under the moonlight.”

“It’s mid-October, so I think I’ll pass on taking a walk outside,” said Amber. “Ugh. I need to be alone. I’m going to go to the library and hide in the bathroom so no one talks to me.” She paused. "Um, _you_ can come if you want, though. When I say I want to be alone, I usually don't mean alone away from _you_." As if embarrassed, she turned and walked library-ward. 

“I…I guess an icky public bathroom _could_ be romantic,” Joyce said weakly.

* * *

Later that night, after everyone in Read Hall had received a lecture about proper microwave use by an irate Bloomington fireman, Dorothy stopped by Joyce's room. 

"Joyce," said Dorothy. "You said that when you kissed Amber for the first time, you wanted it to be special. What does 'special' mean to you?" 

"I was envisioning something like, someone on campus steals my purse and then Amazi-girl shows up and gets it back. Then she takes off her mask and puts on her glasses and scoops me up in her arms. And…and it's night, and we're on a rooftop bathed in moonlight, and she pulls me close and kisses me." 

"Well, that's—" said Dorothy. 

"And then she carries me down the stairs, and even though she's strong enough to break my arm probably she cradles me gently, like a baby bird," Joyce continued, as if she'd forgotten Dorothy was there. "And she lays me down on the bed and leans in close and tells me she's been waiting for this moment since she first laid eyes on me, and she starts unbuttoning my blouse, slowly, one button at a time, and at this point in Amber's fanfiction everyone usually has boy parts so I don't know what comes next," Joyce said.

"You're aware that I'm still here, right?" said Dorothy.

Joyce's face turned beet-red. She looked like she was barely capable of speech. "A-anyway, Amber doesn't do Amazi-girl stuff anymore so I guess I have to think of something else," she mumbled.

"Well, you clearly _want_ to kiss her," said Dorothy. "Why haven't you? Is it…do you still have hesitations?"

Joyce shook her head. "I mean, it's a little scary that once this happens, I'll be a girl-kissing bisexual forever, but that's not why." 

"Then why are you waiting?" said Dorothy. 

Joyce sighed. "Dorothy, you saw my first kiss. Do you remember what it was like?" 

A vision of Joyce awkwardly kissing Ethan in front of everyone at Galasso's and then immediately running off to hide in the bathroom flashed before Dorothy's eyes. "Oh," said Dorothy.

"It was my first kiss, and I ruined it," said Joyce. "Even if he hadn't been gay, it would've been ruined. And my first girl kiss was Becky, so now I'm completely out of firsts. I just want one magical kissing memory that doesn't make me sad whenever I think about it."

"I think you could stand to put a little less emphasis on first kisses. Mine wasn't exactly magical, either. Most people's aren't," said Dorothy. "But I understand. And I'm sorry for making unfair assumptions about why. Now, about this plan to make dinner."

"Yeah, all right, I'll think something else," said Joyce.

* * *

The next night, when Joyce arrived in Amber’s room, Amber was facing the door, waiting for her.

“The update’s finished,” said Amber. “I’ll be in the half-bath.”

“Ooh!” said Joyce, jumping onto the bed. Chewing on her hair, she read the chapter.

“‘Harley didn’t know what to think. Pamela acted affectionate sometimes, but the red-haired woman had never tried to kiss her, not once. It made Harley wonder if there was something wrong, if maybe Pamela didn’t like her very much at all,’” Joyce read out loud to herself. Then she paused. "Oh."

She opened the door to the half-bath and pulled Amber into a hug.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have showed that to you,” said Amber. “I don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

Joyce shook her head. “Amber, my first kiss was with Ethan, and it was weird, and he told me he was gay, like, right after. I don't know what your first kiss was like—"

"Also with Ethan, also weird, also ended with him coming out," said Amber.

Joyce blinked. "Oh. Wow. Anyway, I was thinking about this as kind of a do-over first kiss. I wanted it to be really special. I was waiting for the perfect moment. Because even if it wasn't my first kiss, it would be my first kiss with _you_." 

"I didn't think of it like that," Amber said, looking at the ground. 

"I…I wish you wouldn't always jump to thinking you're unwanted," said Joyce. "You're not. You're _so_ not. You're strong and brave and funny and an amazing writer and you protected me when I needed you and you _saved Becky_ and you're special. You really are." Without thinking about it, she threw herself at Amber and kissed her. 

Amber let out a small, soft noise and pulled Joyce close. It was exactly how Joyce had hoped it would be. Except for one thing.

“Wait,” she said, pulling away. She reached into her pocket and retrieved a tiny jar of glitter, then took a pinch and sprinkled it into the air above their heads. “There. Extra magical.” And she kissed Amber again.

Amber laughed into the kiss. “Joyce, I’m so lucky to have you.”

“Don’t,” said Joyce, because she'd spent enough time around Amber to know when Amber was really saying "I don't deserve you". “I’m the lucky one.” She pulled Amber back into her room and towards the bed. “Can we maybe kiss while watching cartoons now?”

“Yes,” said Amber, “but we have to pause whatever we’re watching while we kiss. I’m not a multitasker.”

“Of course,” said Joyce. "I know better than to get between you and Batman." She slipped her hand into Amber’s and cuddled close, letting loose a contented sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Happy Yuletide!
> 
> I was originally writing getting-together fic for these two, but because of who Joyce and Amber are as people, that wasn't a very lighthearted story. So I wrote some established relationship fic instead! If you want the story of how this pairing came to be, I'd be happy to polish up the other fic I wrote and post it as a prequel once author reveals roll around.


End file.
